Confessions

Well, I best start and get it out of the way. I haven't exercised properly or eaten very well for the past week. *sigh*.  Having a week off, with this flu/virus really stuffed me around. After the first day or two, I was dying to go for a run. I did and felt even worse. So I decided to let my body do what it needed to do and rest. Not push it.  Problem was after about the 3rd or 4th day I just seemed to go back to my old ways.  Which disappoints me but also inspires me just to pick myself back up again and get 'back on the horse', so to speak.  So with that out of the way.... 

Ever had one of those 'lightbulb' moments? Or as the almighty Oprah calls it, The A-ha, moment.  Yesterday, all day,  I felt so antsy and on edge. The past week I've felt just tired and no energy.  But anxiety high.  For the life of me yesterday I couldn't understand why. Had something triggered me? No. I felt ok? I felt good? But my brain was saying 'no, you can't feel good, you're anxious!'.  I seriously for the life of me couldn't figure it out.  Last night while having a cuppa and looking on facebook, I saw someone post an article about Gluten & the 10 ways you could see if you were 'Gluten Intolerant'.  So I had a look.  When I first started my exercising/eating clean I had people say to me 'try going wheat free'. I was like 'err no? why would I do that? I just want to lose some weight I'm not going to start cutting things out'.   
But last night, I read this article, thought it was really interesting. Jumped in the shower. It was literally like something had SLAPPED me in the face! I have been eating crap lately. I've eaten white bread, white rice, all sorts of other things. I even stole some hot chips off Brendan the other night and felt like utter crap afterwards.  My PMS symptoms have been through the roof, for as long as I can remember.  My unexplained amped Anxiety. My bloatedness, my lethargicness etc.... wow.... When I was eating clean and barely eating much wheat products (still a few, but not AS much) I was feeling ALOT better. My energy levels were much higher, I wasn't as tired during the day, my anxiety was much much lower. All these things flashing before me and it's like the biggest lightbulb moment ever. Could I be intolerant to wheat/gluten? Maybe. I might not be, BUT I also don't think my body is "liking" gluten. It doesn't respond well to it.  I know the other night i ate a white bread roll and suffered for ages afterwards. Feeling very bloated and lousy. 

Slowly but surely, while on my weightloss/healthier lifestyle change, I am realising that there is so much more to food than just weight/weightloss.  Its not even about that for me anymore. Of course, I want to lose weight, but by putting good food in my mouth I am making myself feel so much better not only physically, but also mentally. And that is sooo very important to me.  So as hard as it might be, I think I am going to slowly start cutting out gluten and see how I go.  And instead of being so hard on myself for not doing much the past week or so, I should look at it as my very own mini experiment.  Eat good food & exercise= feel good mentally and physically.... Eat bad food & do nothing as a result = feel bloody lousy mentally and physically.  Who would of thunk it, eh'?